dingdongdead

he says he would love to stare at a wall for 23 hours a day just to watch me sleep for one but i know thats total bullshit. sure it sounds nice but i know what would really happen. while i was at work he would go out with his friends and get drunk and forget to call me to tell me he couldn't come over and leave me freaking out and not sleeping hoping that he is still alive. he says he loves me more than anything but sometimes its just really hard to believe. he says he doesn't want to live in his dads house for the rest of his life but i don't see how he'll avoid it without going to college unless i get a good job after graduating and support him for the rest of our lives, and resent him for it. he says he knows he makes me happy, but he doesn't realize that maybe the happiness i get from being with him, might not be worth all the pain i go through when i am not with him. he says he comtemplates death when i say i should break up with him, but he doesn't realize it would mean immediate death for me if i ever did. he says i'll listen to what he says and call his dilusional, when really its him thats always accusing me of that. and he says that i don't know how much he loves me, but i think i do. and i don't think its nearly as much as he thinks it is, and sometimes, his love is just not enough.