(no subject)

i don't know how much more of my job i can take.  its literally making me suicidal.  they don't give me ANYTHING to do.  sitting in a chair staring at a wall for 8 hours is the worst thing i can imagine.  the only thing i can imagine that would be worse than that is standing somewhere doing nothing for 8 hours (retail).  i'm not exagerating either, i literally get assigned about 2-5 hours of work a WEEK.  LITERALLY.  i can't take it anymore.  its causing me terrible anxiety.  in the past i was bored all day but could come home and take klonopins and smoke pot and forget about how much my life sucked.  now i have NO means of escape.  i'm bored and anxious all day at work and then i come home and its more of the same except instead of sitting i'm lying in bed and instead of staring at a wall i'm staring at tv, which is really only slightly better.  my anxiety is so bad i feel like i can't breathe properly, like i can't get in a full breath.  it also makes me feel like i'm going to throw up.  i don't have any hobbies or anything i enjoy doing.  i just don't know what to do anymore.  this is the worst feeling ever.